2009-12-21 — Xmas Letter

Dear All


I wish I could say that I was not sending proper Xmas cards this year as a gesture to the environment (saving trees and all) but the sordid truth is that I just didn't get round to it. So instead I'm sending this email greetings 'card' to everyone whose email I could find!

I would like to wish you all a happy festive season and all the best for 2010. Many thanks to all of you who have helped and supported me over the year. I may be a bit tardy on replying, but believe me your good wishes have meant much to me.

Our family is re-united in Vienna - after around 9 years in England Sarah moved back to Vienna bringing her fiancé Ben with her. Ben looks to be an ideal son-in-law - certainly a respectful one - he asked me for permission to ask for Sarah's hand in marriage before asking her - so he and I have had a good start. Both of them have jobs in Vienna and have a super flat close to the city centre. The family is being hosted for Christmas dinner at Sarah and Ben's on Friday - which we're looking forward to.

Chris has been to Australia for a long holiday but now is back with a new contract at the IAEA -he is joined at the UN by Sarah - both following their parent's examples.

Healthwise I am doing well - the last round of chemo seems to have worked though it is still early days to be completely sure. Margaret is having to carry on with chemo but is in good spirits. The sad news this year was that Liz, Margaret's twin sister, lost her battle with cancer and passed away in the autumn. She is missed, especially at Christmas.

I have two small cats as flat mates now - Thelma and Louise - Thelma has been trying to help me type this email, all typing mistakes are due to her paws. The two spend half their time running over, under, around and behind everything, unplugging cables and generally indulging in high energy mayhem. The other half of the time they are fast asleep behind the books on the bookshelves where they can be undetected and undisturbed. They are fun but do tire me out sometimes!

I hope you and those close to you are well, and once again I wish you all the best for the upcoming holidays

David

2009-10-08 — Catching up and Good News, and Sad News

Dear All

It's been a long time since I last sent one of these broadcast emails. The last one was just after the first of the six sessions of my second round of chemo-therapy; back at the end of April.

A number of you are up to date with what happened and with the good news I got this week — you can switch off now — but to some of you I have been remiss in writing too (I apologise for that) and you can read on if you want to.

The chemo-therapy was a bit rougher than the first round, perhaps in part because it came directly after the two lung operations. I had a lot of different side-effects, not all at the same time though, but there was nothing I couldn't manage. I didn't lose my hair this time which greatly pleased me.

The worst problem was a massive attack of lethargy. I lost most of my energy; both mental and physical. Physical wasn't such a great problem as I've never really been one for the energetic life, but I disliked the inability to concentrate on anything. Spent a lot of time re-watching old videos during the day and sleeping twelve, or even more, hours at night.

Anyway the chemo-therapy came to an end and about six weeks later (so at he beginning of August) I suddenly perked up. Everything came back. I was able to rush up stairs and spend long hours doing reasonably serious work on the computer. It was such a welcome change.

And then this week I went back to hospital for a check-up. They did scans of just about everywhere (I am still trying to get my hands on the picture of my whole skeleton) and took at least an armful of blood for testing. This was on Monday. Then on Tuesday the Professor came into my room with a big smile on his face and said "I think you can guess the news from my smile". Anyway there has been no recurrence of the cancer. Not in my mouth or neck, and more importantly now, not in my lungs. While I still need to have checkups on a regular basis and still there is no absolute guarantee this has nevertheless increased my chances hugely.

Such a difference from the check-up at the beginning of the year when the news was all bad. I've been putting on weight too and am now out of the anorexic level. Crossed the 60 kilos mark a couple of weeks ago and feel much healthier.

And what does it mean to me? Well I have this feeling of being able to get on with my life. I shall be teaching a class at Webster University here starting in a couple of weeks and that will take me up to Xmas and will also refill the coffers a bit. I'll also be investigating what surgical possibilities there are for correcting the mouth problems I have so that I can perhaps get off the yogurt only diet and perhaps be able to pronounce the letters "G" and "K" (one of the worst words for me is "Google" but there are many other similar obstacles).

And now the other news; not such good news I'm afraid. Margaret is in a bit of a limbo situation — an ultra-sonic scan showed new problems in her neck area but the doctors doubt whether what the scans show is serious. She will have an MR scan in a week or so to clarify the position.

And the really bad news was concerning Liz, Margaret's twin sister. She had a cancer of the oesophagus which was not able to be treated and she died a month ago. I had not seen much of her for quite a few years and was somewhat surprised at how much this loss disturbed me. But the whole family had always got together at Christmas and earlier, before we both retired, I saw a lot of her at work and she was always a 'feature on the landscape'. The English community here in Vienna is small and nobody is ever that far from anyone else. She will be missed.

Many thanks to you all for your support over the last few months — I'm sorry that I didn't always find the energy to keep in touch with some of you.

Love to all

David

2009-04-27 to 2009-04-29 — Antibody and chemo treatment #1

This is a slightly more technical version of the last entry — I didn't want too bore everyone on the email list in an email with some of this stuff.

These three days (two nights) in hospital for the antibody and chemo treatment were the first of six sessions which are planned to be done at two-weekly intervals.

It all went well; there were no immediate side effects which is good. I was warned not to drink beer straight from the fridge as very occasionally this can cause severe throat swelling. As I don't drink alcohol any more I was able to tell them there would be no problem.

The advice was then extended to cover any carbonated cold drinks but again these are things I've not been able to drink since the mouth operation, so again no problem.

I've been put on an antibiotic course to cover any other known possible after effects and I'll be taking that for a few weeks apparently. It's apparently something normally given to babies — what with possible spotty complexion does this all mean I'm entering a second childhood?

Provided that my bone marrow regenerates enough platelets (red blood cells, I think) then the oncologist thinks it will all go well. I might get spotty (and have some creams in case this happens) but he doesn't expect my hair to fall out again — which is lucky as I have an appointment at the hairdresser tomorrow and that's be a waste of time and money if all that is left after my new coiffure promptly falls out.

The main reason the treatment is done in hospital and takes three days (two nights) is one of the components of the chemo part is administered with a machine that runs continuously for 48 hours. It's a really cool device — like a large calculator with a strap that goes round my waist or slung over my shoulder. The liquid is enclosed completely in the device so it is really compact and convenient.

Of course nothing is perfect so there were plenty of other normal drips attached for all of the time —- especially on the second day. The actual antibody (antibodies? anti-bodys? — who knows?) is (or are) administered on the second day by conventional drip feed but there are loads of other drip sessions with things to add vitamins, things to protect my stomach and so on. I asked for photocopy of the three day's schedule but then went and forgot to pick it up when I left — so I have no real idea of what was put into me.

This morning, whilst still in the hospital I made a spreadsheet list of all the hospital stays over this whole cancer period. I had to wait until I got home to fill in all the dates involved and might produce a graph or something sometime, but in the meantime only little data factoid for you:

1. It has been 617 days since the first stay in a hospital (August 21st, 2007 for my mouth tattoo)
   
2. Since then I have spent 145 days and 128 nights in hospital (23.5% and 20.7% respectively)
   
3. Depending on whether you count days or nights that somewhere around a fifth to a quarter of my life in a that period
   
4. Some say I'm a computer nerd for doing this sort of thing?
   

Enough! Will go and watch something light-hearted on DVD

2009-04-29 — Newsletter — Antibodies and chemo

Dear All

This is just a short note to let you know that I returned today from two nights in hospital for the antibody and chemo treatment — the first of six sessions which are planned to be done at two-weekly intervals.

The stay was quite pleasant as on the Monday (I think by coincidence) I regained my 'full mental capabilities' — until then I'd been a bit lethargic after the second lung operation. I felt good and still do back home.

One great help is that they gave me a different pain killer which is much better than the previous one, and so I am not much troubled by the aches and pains from the operations and the nights are also much easier. Last night I slept untroubled for almost the whole night —interrupted only by just one short 'pit stop' break. Definitely the best night in the last few weeks.

I've been put on an antibiotic course to cover any other known possible after effects and I'll be taking that for a few weeks apparently. It's apparently something normally given to babies — what with possible side effect being a spotty complexion does this all mean I'm entering a second childhood?

I was also warned to avoid cold beer and carbonated drinks — things I don't indulge myself nowadays so this is not any restriction.

I have lots of energy right now, and think I might start another spring cleaning bout tomorrow — then again I might just relax and play on the computer for a day or two.

And the other good news is that I am very unlikely to have my hair fall out this time as the chemo component is much weaker than the last series.

Thanks as always for your emails, phone call, visits and prayers

David

2009-04-16 — and home again

Dear All

Well the operation went off well and this morning I got back home. I had to stay a little longer in hospital (10 days) than the last two times for this one as they thought it was rather soon after the previous one and I would need a little longer to recover.

Well, they were right. It was a lot more uncomfortable as it was, and still is really, difficult to find a position to be comfortable in. The other side is still sore (looks and feels bruised) and so I can only lie on my back.

But now I'm home and feeling a lot more comfortable physically and very much better mentally and spiritually. The day after the operation I felt pretty low but that only lasted a few hours.

And the good news is… the surgeon removed five suspicious 'things' and only one was malignant. So there has not been a massive new outbreak — just a small localised one. Both the surgeon and my oncologist are very optimistic about this.

For the future, I start a new course of treatment soon. Antibodies (a bit complicated to explain, but new and there is a lot of hope from it — Margaret is already receiving this) coupled with a milder chemo than last time. It will involve two nights in hospital every two weeks for a total period of three months. So I start on Monday the 27th and it'll go on until about the end of July.

Thank you all for your emails, phone calls, visits and also for your thoughts and prayers. I am lucky to have so many good friends.

Love

David

PS Did not get my skeleton picture even though the surgeon promised to try to find it. Will have to try another approach.

2009-04-01 — And yet another operation

Dear All

Went today to have the stitches taken out and was feeling pretty good physically. Turns out however that they discovered two more small 'things' on the other lung -- they actually found out the day before the operation but thought I'd recover better in ignorance. So now the whole process has to be repeated but on the other lung.

So on Tuesday next week (it seemed a good idea to get it over with) I'll be back in hospital and operated on that afternoon. Should be about a week in hospital as per last time.

Anyway, despite all this my spirits are high and I'm going to enjoy the next 5 days as much as possible!

love to you all

David

PS the surgeon has promised to try to get me the full body scan picture they did last time (shows my skeleton) as I said I wanted to put it on my web site. If that works out you'll all get to see the real inner me!

2009-03-23 — News about Margaret

By one of those strange coincidences that seem to happen quite often, my ex-wife Margaret has also had a mouth tumour and I've put some stuff about that on this blog.—mostly 'newsletters' that our son Chris and sometimes I have sent out on her case. This below was the latest newsletter to her friends following some very recent developments.

Dear All

I'm sorry to have to tell you all this news, but Margaret had some routine 'control' checks this afternoon and although the lung x-ray proved fine, the ultra-sound scan of her throat area did not. While the person doing the scan won't commit to a definite diagnosis there are definitely new problem lymph nodes -- ones that will have to be investigated further, probably by an MR scan. The person doing the scan is the same one who correctly spotted the last re-occurrence so it is likely that he is correct in thinking there is a new problem.

The new problem areas are under her chin and on the other side of her throat (the opposite side to the last problem area).

Margaret is understandably feeling down about this and that is certainly to be expected, coming as it does right in the middle of her chemo treatment.

She does not want to talk much right now, but if you text her (0664 xxxxxxx) she will certainly reply when she has recovered from this initial shock.

Of course there is a lot to investigate, and probably another operation but while this is upsetting to say the least, nevertheless there are certainly many options left open -- it is probably the uncertainty that is one of the worst things

Your thoughts and prayers would be welcome, for Margaret of course, but perhaps also for Chris and Sarah who have been subjected to a lot of horrible worries from both their parents over the last couple of years.

Best regards to you all

David

2009-03-21 — Tumour news: All going well, home on Monday

Dear All

First of all thanks to all of you who emailed, texted or phoned me -- it is a great help to know I have so many friends wishing me well.

Things are going well. After two days of tests and scans I had the operation late Tuesday afternoon. It apparently went well (I was asleep during it so cannot confirm that) and I spent a comfortable night in the recovery station. There was a 85 year old lady in the bed next to me (separated by a screen) who was complaining very loudly all night that they had her in the wrong place and wanting to know why she hadn't been operated on (she had of course) so sleep was a bit disturbed but comfortable.

Wednesday and most of Thursday were a bit uncomfortable but I was got out of bed and taken on walks by a young physiotherapist which surprisingly enough helped a lot. Then Thursday evening the drains were removed from the wound and things really looked up. Almost all the discomfort disappeared and there is a great psychological boost in being able to get up and do things without having to call a nurse to be disconnected from pumps and things. Started using the computer and reading books from that point -- before that I just dozed or listened to the radio.

I will be going home Monday which is great but the results of the biopsy won't be known until later next week. Then they will decide on what further treatment is needed. There is a small chance that what was removed was not malignant but that's not something I'm banking on right now.

And the bad news? Well I am having a running Spoon Battle again -- they keep giving me teaspoons to eat my soup and yogurt with (real men don't eat yogurt with baby spoons) so every time I see a real spoon I 'borrow' it and hide it in my room. Then the yogurt (my staple food) comes in bowls covered in cling film which I find almost impossible to remove, the bowl being completely enclosed. Am I alone in the world in thinking that cling film is the Devil's Invention? When you try to put it on it sticks to anything possible except what it is supposed to and once it is stuck it won't come separated.

So you can see my troubles are really rather trivial!

I wish you all a good weekend -- looks sunny out of my window -- I hope you have the same

love to all

David

2009-03-12 — Tumour news: two steps forward, one back...

Dear All

It's been a long time since I last wrote one of these newsletters. I have improved so much since the end of the chemo-therapy and was planning to announce this week after spending Monday to Wednesday in hospital for a whole set of what were expected to be routine tests and scans … so much for the "best laid plans of mice and men" (* see note at the bottom of this email)…

Unfortunately, although most of the tests proved fine, they found a new thing on my lung. Quite small but definitely new. My oncologist wasn't able to decide whether it was malignant or not and wanted me to go to my original lung surgeon. I was able to get an appointment with the surgeon last night and he said another operation is the only sensible option. Having established that it would be very unwise to wait the 8 weeks until I'd taught my Webster classes we settled for next week. Might as well get it over.

So I'm in the Confraternität hospital (I might write a 'Patient's Guide to Vienna's Hospitals' with 'bedpan' ratings instead of stars — am certainly getting to know them all) on Monday and will operated on Tuesday. If it is anything like last time I'll be in hospital about a week. Maybe 10 days. Operation-wise it's not a big deal if I remember rightly from last time. I know I spent quite a lot of time in their garden and didn't feel too bad.

Still at least I've got my weight up a bit and am feeling good physically right now so I should be able to handle the thing well. I was (and still am) more upset about letting down Webster and the students than I am about the bad news itself — this is what you get from missionary parents I think — but there is no alternative. I contacted the head of faculty last night and he has already a plan in place to replace me. So that is working out as well as it can under the circumstances.

Apart from the news above I'd managed to add a new problem — a delayed reaction to the chemo-therapy — this new thing is called polyneuropathy — it's a sort of pins-and-needles tingling in my toes and now in my finger tips. Makes doing up shirt buttons difficult but otherwise is just a little uncomfortable — not painful. But they are treating that now and I'm on a course of medication.

Anyway, I'm still in good spirits and once again am grateful that this thing, like the other things that have been detected, was found while it is small and not when it had a chance to grow (actually it might not be malignant but they don't want to chance that). Luckily all the chemo side-effects (apart from the tingly toes thing) are well in the past and so I'm expecting a quick recovery.

Best wishes to you all

David

* do mice really plan things? Or is that the point? Apparently the real quote is "The best laid schemes o' mice an' men gang aft a-gley" which doesn't clarify things much.

2009-01-23 -- A milestone

I've not been keeping up to date with the blog but today felt so good I thought I'd write down one, to me, significant event; I got a haircut today!

All my hair started falling out after the first chemo session and Chris used his hair trimmer to remove what was left so I didn't look so patchy. Now, I know it is not a big deal to be bald, especially for a man but I hated it. Everytime I saw myself in a mirror, I thought "Who's that old man?" For those with long British memories I thought I looked like Albert Steptoe.

There have been much more serious things happening to me, much more unpleasant things, and overall my experience with chemo has been much lighter than many other people I've heard from, but still I hated losing my hair!

When the dosage was reduced my hair started to grow back. Very slowly, but still it was growing. And this month it reached the point where a visit to the hairdresser was in order. More for a trim than a full blown shearing event, but it was so good to have another 'normal life' back in place.

The staff of the salon (I go to a hairdresser in a building called "The House of Beauty" -- actually "Haus der Schoenheit") were really friendly and pleased to see me and it was nice to be back in the land of the living.

Life is good

David