2007-12-17 (approx) — Email from Chris to Sarah

This is an email sent by Chris (my son) to his sister warning her about what to expect when she came to Vienna for Christmas and to visit me. A friend was sent a copy and she sent it on to me about the time I got out of hospital. I was so touched by it that I include it here (with his permission).

Morning little Sister,

So, I'm back with an update on our old man. I went yesterday to visit between 18:00 - 19:00. It was definitely a weird experience being in intensive care. I was prepared in terms of Dad being swollen and what not, and so it wasn't so bad when I actually got there, of course seeing your Dad hooked up to countless machines all beeping and making noises while he is fast asleep can be emotional, but I held it together ;).

There are some things I need to make clear though so let me try and order this somehow. Basically Dad underwent surgery on the Tuesday. It was by no means a light operation. 8/9 hours comprising of 2 operations. 1 was to remove the area where the tumour was in his mouth, and the second to take out the lymph glands in the upper region of his neck. They did not take out both top lymph glands, but instead only the one on his left side where they found this speckle. There was actually a mini 3rd operation where they have taken skin/muscle from his left arm to replace it on either his neck or mouth - I'm not quite sure which. In terms of the operation(s) they went very smoothly, and the doctors are pleased with the result. According to everything they have told me, things are going how they should.

Now, just to make this point clear, cause I wasn't aware of it, but it seems logical now. When in intensive care, they keep you asleep. There is no waking up and then dozing off again, they keep you in a 'medically induced coma', a permanent sleep for your duration in intensive care. The reasons for this are that after the operation, especially the removal of his gland, there is swelling, and this is not comfortable, and probably painful and there's tubes and things that are doing jobs that require you to be asleep. So they keep you asleep until swelling is down, and until they think it is clear to wake you up. This is estimated to take about 2 or 3 days. When they decide to wake you up, they don't click their fingers mind, and then you're up, it takes a period of several days apparently, where they slowly reduce the drugs that keep you sleeping, so it's a slow process.

This being said, although it is most weird, and a very strange situation for us to be in - with Dad just being in a 'coma' - it is actually a good thing. Dad is sleeping. He is feeling no pain, and during these days in the 'coma' he is recovering, and when he does wake, those days will be behind him. So don't worry about the 'coma', or better said 'induced sleep'. It is better this way.

Like I said, 2 to 3 days this usually takes for swelling and what not, there was/is however a slight set back now. Dad has generally weak lungs, and what has happened is he has developed an infection. This is nothing to worry about, it is something that does happen, and is treatable, but the implications are that the process is slowed down, and the outcome of that - is a prolonged period in the 'induced sleep'. The doctor I was speaking with yesterday said that we should understand that this will most likely add another 5 days of induced sleep (might be more depending on how things develop). It sounds awful, but these people know what they are doing, and again, from Dads point of view he is sleeping, he is in no pain, and these extra days are days he doesn't have to deal with when awake. He is healing all the time.

I hope this is not worrying you, I know you'd rather be here than there, but there's nothing we can do but wait for the experts (and Dad) to do the best job they can. In all likely hood though, in fact I think it's almost a certainty, you need to know that Dad will not be able to come out on the 25th for this day visit that was an earlier option. I hope that by that time he will at least be awake. Visiting is not a problem, it is currently restricted to only family and limited times during the day, and a maximum of 2 people. So naturally I'll be there with you. Even on the days before Christmas.

Now, just an update from me when I was there last night, like I said above I was prepared for the encounter, and as it turned out it wasn't so bad. He still looks like Dad ;) and the swelling etc is not at all bad. The thing that catches your eye is just the sheer amount of machinery surrounding him. Computers and tubes and just and awful lot of noise. I always imagined it to be somewhat quieter, but there's just constant beeping and all sorts of noises. I did talk to him for a while, sent him all our love and well wishes from the many people who have been calling me and e-mailing me for updates so it will be interesting to see if he remembers any of it when he wakes. You have to speak a little louder though because of the noise. The doctors and staff there are friendly, and of course considerate to the fact that it's pretty emotional, so that's nice. He is being looked after well.

The results from the lymph gland will hopefully be with us next week, but to be honest, this is something we can deal with later, the main thing now, and for the next 3-4 weeks will be concentrating on Dads recovery.

I spoke with Uncle Michael last night, and he will be calling you this evening to have a friendly chat - he's been good on the phone! Mum will call as per usual on Sunday I believe :)

Oh yeah, I call the intensive care unit every morning just to find out how his night was, make sure that everything is still going the way it should, and in any case they have my number and mums number if there was ever to be anything that we should know.

Much Love, and looking forward to seeing you and Ben soon!

You can call anytime!

Chris